FILM: Ted (dir: Seth Macfarlane, 2012)

"LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!  LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!  LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!"

It is good news:  Ted more than delivers on its terrific trailers.  For all its stoner/bodily functions gags, Ted is an extremely smart movie in its conception and writing, cleverly hitting its audience sectors squarely and successfully: a buddy/slacker movie for the guys, superior rom-com for the ladies, a slew of wonderfully-chosen 80s references for that generation, and of course the child in everyone through the central character of Ted.  To its credit, the movie draws in the viewer from the outset (even Patrick Stewart's opening narration provides two laugh-out-loud gags) and at no point does the audience find any need to question the ridiculous high-concept premise, such is the power of the writing and characterisation of Ted (voiced wonderfully by creator Seth Macfarlane) and the playing of the 'human' leads.  Wahlberg gives another superb understated deadpan comedic turn (similar to The Other Guys), and Kunis equally gives her character a depth and credibility that most actresses would find hard to match in the material.  As well as the ridiculously high comedy hit-rate, the film gains strength as much from the Kunis-Wahlberg relationship (the audience practically wills them to stay together) as the sincere Wahlberg-Ted friendship.  The introduction of Giovanni Ribisi's rent-a-twitchy-psycho-parent/fan feels more like a plot device than truly convincing, but it does allow for a crowd-pleasing moment involving the son that is almost up there with 'Hulk smash Loki' in The Avengers.  Macfarlane's direction never falters in confidence or execution, the straight tone allows for his trademark outrageous/offensive/brutally-honest moments to come out of nowhere, there are some surprising cameos, Walter Murphy's old-school music score is absolutely glorious, and a personal highlight of a recreation of a spoof dance scene from an 80s comedy classic was an utter joy.   Ted is a daft, silly, ridiculous movie that is executed so terrifically by all concerned that it may well turn out to be the most entertaining comedy movie of this year.

FILM: Dr Seuss' The Lorax 3D (dir: Chris Renaud, 2012)

"You have been warned!"

Many critics have carped about the bluntness of this film's environmental message, and the message does indeed come across very loud and clear, but it should be noted that this is simply because the film targets the very young end of the audience, hence the script is to the point ("It.. is.. called.. photosynthesis!") and subtlety, characterisation and narrative sophistication are almost non-existent.  Putting aside the truly awful Glee-lite musical numbers, on its own terms The Lorax has a lot to offer, but compared to the rest of today's children's CG-animated market, it always feels 'good' rather than 'great'.  The Grinch is clearly the template here, and The Lorax offers design which is psychedelic and consistent, with some very enjoyable voice work by Danny DeVito and Zac Efron in particular, and competent use of 3D, but what is noteworthy is the exemplary facial expression work created for the characters throughout.  The Lorax is a very straightforward romp that is well-delivered but ultimately too simplistic to satisfy anyone other than the very young.

FILM: Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World (dir: Lorene Scafaria, 2012)

"Sorry - you go first."
"I didn't say anything."

Seeking A Friend... requires patience, as the worryingly haphazard and not-entirely successful first half eventually gives way to something decidedly sweet and quite beautiful.  Steve Carell does his everyman routine to perfection here as society in the impending apocalypse and his own personal worlds fall apart, and he has some truly great performance moments, which is juxtaposed nicely with Keira Knightley's younger neighbour who embarks on a picaresque end-of-the-world road trip with Carell to see family and loved ones for the last time, although at times she lacks the lightness of touch that the roll seems to need.  It is reminiscent of the style of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind in its romantic mis-match, but this film is overlong and the tone is too uneven in the first half, even though the closing stages of the film bring it all together both emotionally and narratively.  Towards the end, the film also has two instances of quite brilliant apt uses of classic pop songs.  Seeking A Friend... is therefore an interesting - but not wholly successful - take on a well-worn theme and movie coupling, which manages to resolve itself effectively in the end.

FILM: Magic Mike (dir: Steven Soderbergh, 2012)

"You don't have to say anything - just look pretty."

Soderbergh goes off in another unexpected direction with this low-budget, innocuous and lightweight take on male stripping.  It revels in the ridiculousness of the profession with a neat balance of self-deprecating humour and simple drama, which makes for reasonable entertainment stemming from Channing Tatum's real-life experiences (hence his co-writing and co-producer credits) and the director's cinematic eye which reveals itself mostly away from the confines of the strip club.  Tatum turns in another charming and credible performance, Matthew McConaughey is clearly having a whale of a time as troupe leader, and Alex Pettyfer as The Kid just about convinces as the ingenue whose downward spiral limps along predictably.  Like The Full Monty, male stripping is about male empowerment and control of its hormonally-crazed female audience, so it is to the credit of Cody Horn - as The Kid's grounded sister and Tatum's love-interest - that she creates an interesting and noteworthy performance amongst this testosterone-fuelled display of stereotypes.  Magic Mike is neither earth-shattering nor substantial, but it offers wry and well-made entertainment.

FILM: The Dark Knight Rises IMAX (dir: Christopher Nolan, 2012)

"Boy, you are in for a show tonight, son!"

Quite simply, The Dark Knight Rises is magnificent, not only as a more than fitting end to the Nolan trilogy but also as a superb example of film-making.  The anarchy of The Dark Knight is replaced here by a harsh, almost clinical physicality, from Bruce Wayne's opening physical degeneration to the utterly palpable threat offered by Bane every time he appears on screen.  The intelligently subtle scripting offers terrific dialogue and excellently controlled plotting which makes this long film incredibly rewarding and provides numerous wonderful pay-offs - both large and small - to viewers who have followed this trilogy.   Even within the confines of a comic-book story however, there are a couple of moments that truly stretch suspension of narrative disbelief to the very limit, but after all this is a Batman film, not a gritty documentary.  Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are all terrific actors who are at the top of their game here, and even the usually irritating Anne Hathaway provides an excellently cool real-world socially-aware take on the Selina Kyle character.  Huge credit goes to Wally Pfister for truly stunning cinematography and to Hans Zimmer for a majestic and powerful score that works sublimely throughout, as well as the stunningly realised effects which are occasionally quite breathtaking.  The film does not lose out in using Nolan's preference for IMAX rather than 3D, as the power of the images and the director's complete control and understanding of what is on screen is absorbing and commanding from the very start.  It will be interesting to see where Warners take this property in the future - and the ending does offer further possibilities  - but for now The Dark Knight Rises may well prove to be the film of 2012.

FILM: The Amazing Spiderman 3D IMAX (dir: Marc Webb, 2012)

"You in the tights!  Don't move!"

The Amazing Spiderman is a joy.  This reboot is far less comic-book and much more grounded than Raimi's take (and that is not a criticism of the previous incarnation) but as a result this film not only feels fresh but also delivers in both dramatic and comedic aspects.  The through story - albeit slightly thin but focused - develops organically, with nods to the past and a very modern sensibility, undoubtedly thanks to Webb's direction.  There is a staggeringly strong cast on display which benefits the film enormously.  Andrew Garfield - an excellent actor - is superb throughout, balancing the damaged loner and awkward teenager beautifully; Emma Stone is terrific (but there was a ripple of amusement in the audience when Gwen stated she is 17!); and Rhys Ifans gives Curt Connors surprising humanity.  3D design is startling - if you do not like heights, the final half-hour in IMAX is a test of nerves - and New York looks beautiful, as is design work in general, notably lighting.  James Horner's epic bombastic score is effective but occasionally a little too big.  Stan Lee's cameo is probably his funniest yet, and there is a sequel-tease a couple of minutes into the end credits to wait for.  This film flies in the face of initial reaction to the seemingly-fast return to the franchise, and stands up as a smart, superbly-crafted, well-written and strongly-delivered movie.

FILM: Ice Age 4 Continental Drift 3D (dirs: Steve Martino, Mike Thurmeier, 2012)

"Grab your weapons, mates!"

Whereas the previous film in the Ice Age franchise seemed a little more reliant on 3D-showboating than providing consistent entertainment, Continental Drift delivers on both counts.  Design and 3D are visual treats throughout - this largely ice-and-water-bound adventure shows how far these difficult CG media have come - and a surprisingly witty and inventive script keeps things moving.  After an alarmingly over-preachy start (respect your parents, children), Ice Age 4 barrels along with three well-structured parallel narratives plus an effectively interwoven through-story for the marvellous Scrat, yet it feels that the writers have loosened up and are having a lot more fun: there is even a lovely self-referential dig at the previous film's 'dinosaurs' concept.  Fox has tagged an alarmingly dour Simpsons Maggie-centric short at the front, but the pay-off is quite sweet.  As a fourth entry, Continental Drift hardly breaks new ground, but it is a lively, well-written and beautifully-crafted affair, and it hits its children's market spot on.  It is alarming, however, that the 'children' in the series are now teenagers: what next?  Ice Age 5 - The Divorce Years?

FILM: Storage 24 (dir: Johannes Roberts, 2012)

"I just wanna go home."

Noel Clarke (writer/producer/star of Storage 24) said this movie was born out of his frustration that the UK film industry never makes a 'monster on the rampage' film, and so this reasonable stab at the genre makes it into cinemas.  The film uses its meagre budget well: gore effects are sparing but effective, the hints of the bigger picture affecting the world outside the storage facility are well-handled, and even the creature (when revealed) has an endearingly but pleasingly lo-fi quality.  Aside from the excellent Clarke, who can seemingly wring a strong performance out of anything, the cast is vapid, and the frequently banal dialogue is not helped by somewhat dull performances.  Tension and shocks are occasionally generated effectively, although a loud sting every time the lights fail (frequently) becomes tiresome, and the synth-led score sometimes sounds like an audience member's mobile has gone off.  Storage 24 is not a particularly strong film, and it could do with more energy and some serious script editing, but it is well-intentioned, clearly versed in the genre and tries hard to match its American counterparts, making it a little better than standard straight-to-DVD fare.

FILM: The Pact (dir: Nicholas McCarthy, 2012)

"Merry Christmas!"

The Pact came in under the radar and generated a buzz through its tightly-edited trailer, which is very much a greatest hits package for the film as a whole.  It is very much a familiar piece, with a join -the-dots story that really does not take an awful lot of working out (unless you were the two teenage girls sitting three rows in front, who were entertainingly terrified by the whole film) and ultimately does not amount to much.  The supernatural and crime-thriller elements never quite seem to gel as strongly as they should, but the set pieces from both are effectively executed. Nevertheless, for its genre and budget, director McCarthy uses some creative and thoughtful camerawork as well as building tension successfully, especially in the first half.  The Christmas setting lies unsettlingly at odds in the background, and the geography of the deceased mother's house - so crucial to the story - is conveyed well, making The Pact a well-executed and interesting low-budget genre entry.

DVD: Iron Sky (dir: Timo Vuorensola, 2012)

"So, you are a formerly dead black model, who is now suddenly a living white hobo after spending a weekend on the Moon.  Is that correct?"

Iron Sky has been a long time coming, with expectation slowly building via the enticing trailer and its use of fan-funding, and it proves to be an entertainingly daft labour of love.  Whilst hardly Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich, for its low budget the design and low-end effects are impressively mounted, there is surprisingly enough story to fill the running time effectively, Laibach (!) turn in a strong musical score, and Gotz Otto strides commandingly through the film as the Fuhrer-to-be.  Iron Sky is nevertheless prey to two of the main faults of low-budget productions - namely an awful lot of truly poor acting and really lame humour - but it also manages some quite broad but effective political satire at times, making it a real hit-and-miss film that strives to entertain throughout, either by impressing or simply being outrageous, and often succeeds.