FILM: Paranormal Activity (dir: Oren Peli, 2009)

"I think we'll be OK now."

Close, but no cigar. A decade after Blair Witch, its direct stylistic successor again proves to be a triumph of marketing over substance. The very clever and effective release-widening campaign, together with a killer audience-reaction trailer, has made Paranormal Activity far more successful than it really deserves, but it also mis-sells the film. What appeared to be an Amityville Horror for the reality TV generation is not a scary movie as such, more a traditional 'haunted house'/possession chiller, even reminiscent at times of audience manipulation in Robert Wise's classic, The Haunting. The simple premise and the genuinely claustrophobic setting works massively to its advantage, and the simple 'Night #' onscreen motif succeeds admirably in turning up the suspense and anticipation for the audience as the film progresses. However, given the limited opportunities that the setting and concept offers, nothing surprises, and all of the supposedly 'shock' moments are actually given away in the trailer, including the underwhelming and sudden ending. The two leads are reasonable, but the visiting psychic's performance is astoundingly dreadful. The lo-fi videocam look works for the most part visually, but sound-wise it diminishes the potential 'jump' moments. Paranormal Activity demonstrates that a good remake of Poltergeist might have some interest, yet I can't help feeling that if Sam Raimi had been given this movie to direct, they would have been literally scraping the audience off cinema ceilings. Catch it in a cinema with a lively Friday-night audience; it will look lame on DVD, and certainly Paranormal Activity will not bear repeat viewings.

FILM: 2012 (dir: Roland Emmerich, 2009)

"Sit down and buckle up!"

Dog? Check. Bird's eye shot of a plane trying to outrun a firestorm/pyroclastic cloud? Check. Everything stops for a heartfelt speech about the human condition even though the countdown is almost out? Check. If you've never seen a Roland Emmerich film or indeed any disaster movie in the last twenty years, 2012 may hold some surprises. However, the increasingly restless cinema audience at this showing said it all, and my goodness the film feels long (getting on for two-and-a-half hours). Obeying the 45-minutes rule (i.e. nothing really happens until it hits that time marker and then all hell breaks loose) almost perfectly, the selling point of 2012 is the special effects sequences, and indeed the scale of destruction wrought is awesome to the point of obscenity. Yet the film remains curiously unmoving, owing to its grating familiarity and the utterly naive storylining, combined with disposable filler dialogue that often leads nowhere or is deeply repetitive. Silly science aside, from even the opening shots of the planets clearly visible from each other, willing suspension of disbelief isn't enough as 2012 tests the patience of its audience and then completely insults it with some of the daftest sequences imaginable in its last 45 minutes. John Cusack is not the typical blockbuster star, but as expected does his utmost to ground his lead character in some sort of sustained credibilty throughout. Of course it is easy to tick off its hardly-subtle influences (Dante's Peak, Deep Impact, Speed, Emmerich's own Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow, and even The Poseidon Adventure), and in doing so 2012 demonstrates that the disaster genre really has nowhere to go except to ramp up the special effects setting to 'bigger'. If Emmerich does eventually make Independence Day 2, it will have to go into space for the most part, because there is nothing left for him to do to Planet Earth now.