"I thought you had it removed, along with your -"
John Carter is an ENORMOUS, daft sci-fi/fantasy epic. The scale is huge, with fantastic location work melded with incredibly detailed CGI to create a truly cinematic experience, and the alien creatures' integration into live action is seamless and impressive. The silly story's pulpy roots are all too obvious throughout, and the tale's influence on so many 20th Century genre films is at times all to obvious - in particular, George Lucas, stand up - but Andrew Stanton marshals the different strands effectively and his film trots along at quite a pace (with a few grating speed bumps along the way). Taylor Kitsch makes an understated and watchable hero, Lilly Collins treads a fine line between helplessness and vivacity as the Princess, whilst bad-guy gravitas is played by reliables like Mark Strong and Dominic West. The film feels long but interest does not stray, and it is worth sticking with for the utterly demented everything-but-the-kitchen-sink finale. Ultimately, John Carter needs to be seen on the biggest screen possible - the sheer scale and detail will be completely lost on home viewing - and whilst entertaining, it is hard to see it breaking out beyond fans of the genre.
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