DVD: Twilight - New Moon (dir: Chris Weitz, 2009)

"Is it possible that there isn't anything sane or normal at all?"

As I am not the target demographic of the Twilight series, the movies were never going to offer much appeal to me, and the best that can be said is that technically New Moon is a better film than the first, thanks largely to Chris Weitz trying to create some visual interest. The original movie suffered from being unintentionally hilarious in so many respects, but this is much less the case in the sequel, resulting in a generally dull and uninspiring viewing experience. Scenes are extended well beyond the point of maintaining interest (and, incredibly, a number of extended scenes can be found on the DVD), with unnecessary overuse of slow motion making the film drag even further. It is a relief that most of the dialogue is either whispered or mumbled, because to actually listen to the words is unremittingly painful. The plotting is rudimentary, and the audience is patronised even to the extent of an 'October' caption being placed over an autumnal establishing shot. Indeed, the often poor-quality low-end digital effects simply highlight the cynicism of the entire project - make it fast, keep costs down, maximise profit. Kristen Stewart at least seems vaguely interested in what is going on this time around, and Pattinson maintains his one-note delivery and lack of screen charisma. Taylor Lautner briefly brings some warmth and credibility as a teenager at first, but as he embraces his 'true inner nature', he is also sucked into the series' signature morose, plodding style. Weitz clearly had ambition for the movie, starting off with a Kurosawa-lite dream sequence and some good art direction at times, but the hollowness of the writing gives the film little chance to really fly. Frustratingly, the whole teenage vampires vs. werewolves concept has clearly so much potential, if only it were given a spark of life instead of trying to come across as Bergman-esque adolescent angst and failing. The most frightening thing about Twilight - New Moon is that it runs over two hours, and believe me, you feel every second pass.