VOD: Chicken Run Dawn Of The Nugget (dir: Sam Fell, 2023)

"I'm running a camouflage lesson at noon...if you can find me!"

Following a swift opening recap of the original film, this belated sequel finds the liberated chickens living happily on a idyllic island, until Ginger and Rocky's daughter starts to get curious about what lies 'on the other side of the water', and she unwittingly ends up in a revolutionary meat-processing factory, which leads to a neat reversal of the first film as the chickens have to break in to rescue her.  The gloriously quirky British sense of humour and Aardman's signature (augmented) stop-motion animation remains utterly charming and executed wonderfully.  The set deign and level of detail is particularly ambitious here, with the use of colour and lighting effects stunningly vibrant, and there are plenty of daft chucklesome visual and verbal gags as expected.  The film does not particularly feel as if it is exploring new ground, and it misses some of the original voice cast, but it is more than a match for the original movie, and Dawn Of The Nugget sees Aardman deliver another cosy, warm and funny slice of entertainment for all ages.
 

VOD: Dungeons And Dragons Honour Among Thieves (dirs: John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein (2023)

"She's throwing potatoes!"

Given a proper Game Of Thrones/The Lord Of The Rings high-fantasy treatment visually but delivered with a light, snarky and fleet-footed approach, this long-gestating iteration of the fantasy RPG quickly hits and maintains an entertaining tone that clearly struck a chord with cinemagoers.  The script is never too far from a delightfully silly line of dialogue or reaction,  delivered knowingly by Chris Pine as the roguish Edgin, the ever-reliable Michelle Rodriguez as his partner/straight-person Holga and a very arch Hugh Grant in full pantomime villain mode as the smarmy Lord Forge, from whom Pine is trying to retrieve his daughter. The visual scale and richness of the film keeps it the right side of parody (more The Princess Bride than Your Highness!, thankfully), making it an expensively silly but entertaining enough romp overall.  Look out for the mid-credits scene that echoes Airplane! in addressing an earlier joke.
 

VOD: Transformers Rise Of The Beasts (dir: Steven Caple Jr, 2023)

"I'm not following you!  I'm just escaping in the same direction!"

With big-bad planet-devouring Unicron on the hunt for a Transwarp Key to rule the universe, which somehow ends up in the hands of a museum trainee via a mysterious ancient artefact in 1994 New York, it attracts the attention of the Autobots and the latest round of metal mayhem ensues.  Also thrown into the mix is a young down-at-luck ex-soldier (nicely played by Anthony Ramos) with a sick younger brother plus the Maximals (the mechanical animals from the film's opening skirmish hiding conveniently on Earth).  This franchise finally presents a cast led by non-white actors (and the classic R&B/hip-hop tracks on the soundtrack give it a different feel), but the female characters are still underwritten, and the bizarre Maximals - which were the focus of the trailers - only really make notable showing in the final act.  As ever with this series, the visual effects are shiny, detailed, impressive and seamlessly integrated, and this film seems to take on board the lessons learned from the success of Bumblebee by keeping the story relatively tight and focussed (even if the lack of humans on-screen may be the result of early post-pandemic production).   The shift to picturesque Peru is visually pleasing after the familiar city-bound first act, and the big set pieces at the end of each act are still spectacular (and here relatively easy to follow!), but unnecessary padding is evident.  Rise Of The Beasts is just about an improvement on the last couple of wayward entries, and it does deliver a very unexpected franchise-linking final shot. 

 

VOD: Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny (dir: James Mangold, 2023)

"Some things should stay buried."

A spirited war-time set opening sequence with an effectively de-aged Harrison Ford captures some of the spirit of the early films in this series in a solid start that goes some way to restore faith after the previous film in this fifth and final entry, but the rest of the movie proves adequate if a little tired.  An enthusiastic Phoebe Waller-Bridge plays Indy's shady god-daughter who leads him into one last adventure at the end of the 1960s following his retirement from lecturing.  Reasonably executed throughout and with a couple of fair action sequences, the film potters along in a gentle and perhaps over-familiar manner, with little that really excites or captures interest.  The surprisingly simple story holds together well but has the effect of making the overlong running time feel a bit bloated, making Dial Of Destiny a pleasant final outing with the conclusion that will make any fan happy but overall it is not the most thrilling.
 

VOD: Candy Cane Lane (dir: Reginald Hudlin, 2023)

"If an elf can make it, you can wish for it, OK?"

Amazon gives us yet another variant of Deck The Halls, here with a rein(deer)ed-in Eddie Murphy trying to win his street's best-decorated house prize with his old-fashioned hand-crafted display, but finds himself laid off just before Christmas as his wife heads for promotion in her job.  With the added incentive of a sponsorship prize of $100K up for grabs, Murphy and his youngest daughter come across a mysterious Christmas decorations shop (Kringle's) and the festive fantasy plot elements kick in.  This is one of Eddie Murphy's more consistent and effective performances, and pairing him with Tracee Ellis Ross (TV's black-ish) as his wife works extremely well.  The family dynamics with the three children of various ages and interests works well, and there is fun had with the lively dialogue from the 'living' miniature Christmas figurines.  The film is a little over-long with some unnecessarily extended or filler sequences, but the stuffed narrative keeps things moving along and Murphy's engaging lead performance makes Candy Cane Lane an adequate fun family Christmas film.

VOD: Elf Me (dir: Younuts!, 2023)

"Never stop dreaming, even when you are awake."

This well-made and well-played family Christmas offering from Italy via MGM/Amazon covers four days leading up to Christmas, as one of Santa's crafter elves - an anarchic inventor called Trip - finds himself catapulted into the real world and the life of a sweet, lonely, bullied boy called Elia.  Clearly Amblin-inspired (notably E.T. and Gremlins), the film balances fantasy and the real world elements nicely and has a fun streak of rebellious daftness running through it, all driven by two lovely performances from Pasquale Petrolo (Trip) and  Federico Ielapi (Elia), who play off each other delightfully.  Simple, small-scale, charming and funny, Elf Me is a gentle, delightful, snowy and warm-hearted festive treat best watched in its original language (although the English dub is reasonable), and watch the bloopers playing through the end credits.
 

VOD: The Killer (dir: David Fincher, 2023)

"Isn't it all just human nature?"

Less of a thriller and more of a close character study, The Killer is in many ways a quintessential Fincher movie, with every frame designed gloriously, carefully-controlled pace and a confrontationally intimate journey with its subject, here an experienced assassin whose latest hit in Paris goes wrong, sparking off a personal tragedy and revenge plot.  Michael Fassbender returns to the screen with a precise, captivating and haunting performance, and his deadpan (and occasionally wryly sardonic) introspective narration evokes Noir, forming the backbone of the film throughout its six chapters.  The film also boasts another magnificent hypnotic Reznor/Ross soundscape and very nicely-judged supporting performances.  Like its protagonist, The Killer is masterfully controlled, focused and visually a film to savour, making it a very successful work.
 

VOD: Dashing Through The Snow (dir: Tim Story, 2023)

"A lot of work and definitely overrated."
 

Disney's first new offering of the 2023 season takes us to Atlanta to find separated crisis counsellor/Christmas-averse Eddie (Ludacris) embroiled with the 'real' Santa Claus, who is being chased by a low-rent criminal gang trying to retrieve a crooked congressman's missing tablet.  Although the plot might not be the usual festive fare, the film contains many signature Disney/Christmas elements, from the cute young daughter to the cynic rediscovering his Christmas mojo, but the film feels rather dialogue-heavy and struggles to maintain interest.  The father-daughter relationship works well, but the film is a bit too light on the comedy and festive feel-good elements to make it a holiday classic.

VOD: BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVER! (dir: Mary Lambert, 2023)

"I mean, how much of this can a person take?"

Netflix kicks off its 2023 festive offerings by pitting a regular family against their over-achieving seemingly-perfect former college friend's life to find the truth behind their glowing holiday newsletter and getting snowed in together for Christmas.  Throw in a sub-plot of their children trying to (dis)prove the existence of Santa Claus and an unexpectedly sad third-act twist, it all leads to a suitably feel-good festive ending.  The leads (including Jason Biggs, Heather Graham and singer Brandy) are pleasant, the snowy festive trappings are nice to look at, and the entire feather-light wafer-thin concoction drifts by harmlessly and painlessly for its scant eighty-minutes run time.
 

VOD: All-American Boy (dir: Ian Liberatore, 2023)

"Why did you let it get this far?"

This Kickstarter-funded production finds young college student Sean coming home for the summer, reuniting with his old basketball team buddies and forming an unexpected attachment to his socially-awkward neighbour James that goes horribly wrong.  Playing out a mish-mash of teen TV-movie-of-the-week issues ( including parental separation, sexual assault, coercion, self-harm and homophobia) in a rather simplistic and cliché fashion, it has the feel of a rather earnest but not very able youth theatre group being incredibly serious, but given the gravity of the matters being portrayed the bluntness of the execution undermines it all somewhat.  It is largely competently made, although there are occasional framing and sound issues in this micro-budget effort.

VOD: Meg 2 The Trench (dir; Ben Wheatley, 2023)

"I even made poison-tipped bullets, just like in Jaws 2!"

The first half of this unnecessary sequel is largely muddled nonsense about exploring a deep sea trench and murky corporate espionage, with Idiot Plot to the fore all over the place.  The second half is more familiar blockbuster creature-feature territory of the Jaws/Piranha variety, with three Megs, proto-alligator creatures and an enormous octopus on the rampage at an exclusive holiday resort.   This sequel delivers largely more of the same from the first film, and Statham shoots off one-liners in entertaining fashion just the right side of self-parody.  It has some quirky moments and ideas, but it really could have been directed by anyone competent and is not really a Ben Wheatley film such that we are used to.  Overall, it is all one big glorious mess, perhaps saved by The Stath doing silly action set pieces.
 

FILM: The Marvels (dir: Nia DaCosta, 2023)

"Ah, good - it's Carol!"

The internet naysayers who tried to scuttle this movie should have waited until they watched it - The Marvels is actually rather entertaining and perhaps one of the strongest solo(-ish) MCU outings.  Not only acting a a sequel to Captain Marvel, this movie also draws heavily on recent Disney+ series (especially WandaVision, Secret Invasion, Hawkeye and of course Miss Marvel), and although it tries to flash through various backstory points a lot of it will be lost on newcomers.  There is an awful lot going on in its relatively short run-time, with main storylines being an avenging Kree gunning for Captain Marvel and trying to bring together two powerful armbands to kickstart the dying homeplanet, the re-settlement of Skrulls and leaking jumppoints dissolving boundaries between space and dimensions, with the central conceit of Danvers, Kamala Khan and Monica Rambeau finding themselves swapping places whenever they use their (interlinked) powers as a result of the portals issue.  The film has a very welcome lightness of touch and is a lot of fun, with a couple of sequences that are daft enough to be in a Guardians movie but just about come off on the right side of silly, but the heavier dramatic moments and effective fight scenes balance the movie well.  Brie Larson is again excellent as Captain Marvel, Iman Vellani brings the same infectious energy she showed in the Miss Marvel TV show, Teyonah Parris is rock-solid as the grown-up Rambeau, and as a trio they play together really well.  With Zawe Ashton making a reasonable villain, a couple of nice cameo appearances, the mostly space-set VFX delivering well and a pace that doesn't let up, The Marvels is enjoyable lightweight fun overall - and how can you resist a film that puts Kamala's wonderful family (from the TV show) in space?  The mid-credits sequence is quite a mindblowing reveal that certainly creates anticipation for where the current MCU Phase could head. 
 

VOD: Talk To Me (dirs: Danny Philippou and Michael Philippou, 2023)

"Did the hand-thing scare you?"

This much-lauded Australian horror/thriller opens with a shockingly attention-grabbing scene before switching to newly-bereaved Mia and a freaky party game that involves a cursed embalmed hand that allows spirits to enter the participant, but which can have very unpleasant consequences, particularly for Mia.  Focusing on a very entertaining, grounded and contemporary-feeling set of teens, as the possession game becomes an obsession, like a Jordan Peele version of Flatliners, the film offers more serious and provocative situations with some very alarming moments and images.  Talk To Me is simple, efficient and well-made all round, justifying its word-of-mouth cult status, and it is a superior indie chiller that over-delivers.

VOD: The Other Zoey (dir: Sara Zandieh, 2023)

"Can't we just cancel Valentine's day already?"

Amazon brings this sunny teen rom-com, in which a computer-whiz and romantic cynic student Zoey explores love and relationships with soccer hero Zach, after he gets amnesia following a car accident and believes she is his girlfriend (also called Zoey, of course).  The film is calculated formula to the nth degree, right from their early bookshop encounter mirroring the library scene in Love Story, and this is the type of film in which the heroine drinks rose-infused matcha lattes and works in a bookshop and the hero is the dumb jock stereotype who flashes his abs - even Andie MacDowell shows up for good measure - and the whole scenario could have been avoided with a simple conversation early on.  Nevertheless, the two leads (Josephne Langford and Drew Starkey) play the nonsense quite sweetly, and Mallori Johnson brings a fresh lively energy as Zoey's best friend.  
 

VOD: Nuovo Olimpo (dir: Ferzan Ozpetek, 2023)

"The heart never forgets."

In this Italian Netflix drama/romance, a shy inexperienced med student and a confident film student fall in love briefly in 1970s Rome, and the film then picks up their stories ten, fifteen and finally years later when fate brings them back in each other's lives.  The film is a throwback to classic European arthouse fare, sumptuously shot with impossibly beautiful cast and locations, a luxurious romantic soundtrack and hefty referencing of great movies.  It is a simple, unpretentious but gorgeously romantic tale that does little more than wallow in the power of true love for a couple of hours with a bittersweet edge.  

 

FILM: Killers Of The Flower Moon (dir: Martin Scorsese, 2023)

"Money flows freely here now."
"I do love that money, sir."

Recounting the true story of the insidious murders of the native Osage people for their land rights and oil in the 1920s through interracial marriages and blatant organised hits, Scorsese's three-and-a-half-hours epic might not exactly fly by but it is absolutely wonderful and captivating.  Focusing on one main story of a returning soldier (Leonardo DiCaprio) manoeuvred into marrying a strong Osage woman (Lily Gladstone) by his powerful local-big-shot uncle (Robert De Niro) but clearly representative of more widespread abuse, it reflects a time between the old Wild West and emerging modern times beautifully both in mise-en-scene and its ability to tap into more modern themes and audiences.  It is again to Scorsese's credit here that he can make lengthy talk-heavy material so cinematic, and the careful steady pace allows the story to unfurl with powerful precision and for the characters to truly breathe and develop.  This film contains one of DiCaprio's best performances and Lily Gladstone is excellent as his wife, with both actors delivering genuine and demanding character arcs across the movie, and De Niro is on form as the gently calculating and manipulative kingpin.   Both respectful but shocking, Killers Of the Flower Moon plays out a terrible episode in history with themes and characters that feel at home in Scorsese's body of work and one of his best pieces.

VOD: Awareness (dir: Daniel Benmayor, 2023)

"I'm sure there's a clue in here somewhere."

In this Spanish Netflix sci-fi drama, (old-looking) teen Ian does small-scale scams and robberies with his father using his gift of being able to plant deceptively real illusions in the minds of their victims.  The opening robbery draws the attention of a shady government agency and a seemingly rogue 'Perceiver' out to destroy Ian and anyone like him, thus turning into a fairly routine cat-and-mouse action thriller with sci-fi overtones as allegiances change regularly and the boy also tries to solve the mystery of his family's past.  With occasional echoes of Scanners and The Matrix, it has a relentless blue/grey/black colour palette and is quite low-powered, but the central premise is used and executed well and the film passes the time reasonably.
 

VOD: Appendage (dir: Anna Zlokovic, 2023)

"You can't really have people over when you have something in the basement..."

Overtired, overworked and overstressed twenty-something fashion designer Hannah tries to juggle her demanding unpleasant boss, distant parents and her relationship with nice-guy Kaelin, and finds her anxieties manifest physically in the form of an ugly, mocking creature in a very Cronenbergian fashion.  This is more a psychological thriller with an element of body-horror thrown in, as Hannah's life crumbles and her mental and physical disintegration becomes increasingly troubling whilst the parasite grows stronger.  Appendage evokes the style and spirit of Frank Hennelotter's Basket Case, not just in its lo-fi physical creature aesthetic but also in its themes of urban alienation, isolation and paranoia.  The pacing can be a little too languid at times, but Appendage is a generally solid movie with sound performances (and sound design/score is strong), with a nicely-placed twist that enables the third act to play out well. 
 

VOD: The Boogeyman (dir: Rob Savage, 2023)

"Maybe you don't want to creep people out either."

After a tragic accident leaves a counsellor father and his two daughter (one teen, one younger) without a mother and dealing with grief, a distraught man turns up claiming his family was killed by a 'shadow monster' and promptly hangs himself, leaving the family as new targets for the titular entity.  Sombre, ponderously slow and dreary, the film unfortunately makes the grieving family somewhat dull and uninteresting, and this standard monster-under-the-bed/in-the-closet potboiler offers little beyond its basic premise, two effective jump scares and a messy finale.  It also somewhat labours the thinly-veiled metaphor for the potentially mentally destructive effects of bereavement on children if not dealt with and handled properly, making the film overall worthy in intention but hardly entertaining to watch.  
 

VOD: Cassandro (dir: Roger Ross Williams, 2023)

"Don't f**k with lucha libre.  We have our traditions, got it?"

This Amazon drama focuses on the true story of Saul Armendariz, a low-rent 1980s Mexican wrestler who adopts a flambouyant 'exotico' character Cassandro that shoots him to fame and challenges homophobic attitudes in the macho-centric sport and society of the time. It is a well-rounded portrait of the protagonist, not only showing his evolution but also exploring his key relationships, notably with his close mother, absent father and another (married) wrestler.  The story follows a fairly well-worn trajectory but portrays the character with sincerity and sympathy.  The excellent Gael Garcia Bernal always finds the vulnerability in the characters he portrays, and here he also conveys an almost naive joyfulness balanced with sadness in an extremely nuanced and finely-tuned performance.  The film has a reasonable amount of grit and honesty within its standard rags-to-riches tale and is well made, but the real reason to watch is the central performance.  

 

VOD: Sisu (dir: Jalmari Helander, 2023)

"The general said, and I quote: he's one mean motherf***er you do not want to mess with."

Towards the end of the Second World War, as the Nazi make their scorched-earth withdrawal from Lapland, a loner living in the wilderness with his dog and horse discovers gold - all he has to do is to get past the murderous invaders and get it to a bank.  With its sweeping widescreen landscapes, epic music score and tense bouts of silence, the film imbues the man with mythic status as he turns out to be a legendary one-man military killing machine who goes through anybody who gets in his way in very violent fashion, like a sleek Scandi John  Rambo.  Split into tight and concise 'chapters', the film's simplicity is its absolute strength, and the ultra-violence becomes almost comedic in a Sam Raimi/Tommy Wirkola manner.  Jorma Tommila is an absolute powerhouse in the central role, combining strength, stillness and cunning whilst clearly haunted by the horrors of war, making Sisu very entertaining and much more than a standard violent action film.
 

VOD: Dark Harvest (dir: David Slade, 2023)

"It's Halloween - you know what that means..."

The small-town legend/curse of Sawtooth Jack sees the town's teenage boys pitted against the creature in a kill-or-be~killed annual Halloween ritual called The Run to protect the cornfield crops - so far, all very The Purge meets Children Of The Corn.  Here, however, the film is set in the late 1950s, with accompanying gangs, racial tensions, religion and S.E. Hinton sunsets, and the unfurling of the mystery surrounding The Run and Sawtooth Jack unravels carefully with an almost Lynchian take on the underbelly of straining-to-be-perfect American society.   It is boosted by a very strong and confident central performance by Casey Likes as troubled teen Richie, and the film is surprisingly thoughtful and well shot for its budget, using all the necessary elements of slasher and rites-of-passage movies but offering an interesting take on the central idea.  All the ideas might not fully hang together, and the creature itself is a tad underwhelming visually at times but works well as a presence (although it has to be said that the kills are full-on and well-realised on-screen).  Overall, Dark Harvest offers an unusual and quite interesting twist on what could have been a standard horror tale.
 

VOD: Fair Play (dir: Chloe Domont, 2023)

"You know this is just a game?"
"Mm-mm, you play it very well."
 

Opening to the strains of Donna Summer's Love To Love You Baby sets the tone for torrid battle-of-the-sexes Netflix drama, with an opening sequence that vividly establishes the battleground of romance and sex for this upwardly-mobile couple - both financial analysts - in a long-term illicit workplace relationship.  With the man in line for a big promotion, the post is instead offered to the woman, and thus cracks and ultimately chasms start to enter their relationship, as well exposing attitudes in a male-dominated industry.  This is proper adult drama, shot beautifully and with two terrific nuanced central performances from Alden Ehrenreich and particularly Bridgerton's Phoebe Dynevor.  Skewering toxic masculinity and gender politics unmercifully, Fair Play quietly and decisively pulls apart both big business and this particular personal relationship with uncomfortable and very engaging precision.

VOD: Totally Killer (dir: Nahnatchka Khan, 2023)

"How much do you know about quantum mechanics?"
"I saw Endgame, but I didn't really understand it."

Starting off on present-day Halloween, this knowing and fun horror is set in a small town where thirty-five years ago, three girls were killed by the Sweet Sixteen Killer, and when the killer seemingly returns and strikes again close to home, student Jamie gets taken back to the original scene of the crimes in 1987 via a friend's science fair time machine and has to confront the killer, 80s high school and its students, including her future parents, and try to save the victims before they are killed.  In Freaky we had the body-swap tropes applied to the horror genre, Happy Death Day was Groundhog Day, and here we have Scream meets Back To the Future, and a lot of fun is had with the (high) concept.  Narratively, the strength here is the interplay between the generation of parents who experienced the original spree and their children/the next generation, together with Jamie's 80s culture-clashing 2020s perspective and attitudes.  The film is made with love for the genre and horror fans, with some sly (and some less subtle) references to classic films, a few good chuckles along the way and it does not stint on the violence.  Playing like a more playful version of Scream, it is not designed to be profound or intellectual; Totally Killer is simply light, breezy fun that aims to please and entertain, and on those fronts it certainly scores.
 

VOD: Mates (dir: Arno Craus, 2023)

"I'm always quiet."

In this micro-budget British indie, three stereotypes (the Alpha one, the sporty one, the quiet one) go on a hiking weekend, and the more introspective man attracts the attention of another (gay) hiker - and that's about the sum of it.  It is all very gentle and restrained, with repetitive dialogue, uninteresting performances and a soporific soundtrack; the slow pacing and editing also contributes to making the dialogue sound stilted and awkward at times.  The South Downs scenery is used to its full advantage and looks great, and the film does mildly challenge toxic masculinity occasionally, but overall the film just floats by with little impact or point.

 

VOD: Haunted Mansion (dir: Justin Simien, 2023)

"Ghosts don't exist!  Life is dirt!  We're all dirt!.....Sorry....."

The New Orleans setting and vibe is a promising start to Disney's reboot of their theme-park property, as a mother and young son move into a, well, haunted mansion, and a dissolute 'ghost photographer', quirky priest, out-there medium and a professor all become bound to the house and try to solve its past mysteries in order to be released from it.  The fundamental issue, as with the previous movie iteration, is that it wants to be so child-friendly that it is not remotely scary and the comedy is beyond twee, rendering the whole enterprise bland and somewhat uninteresting, in spite of a solid cast (Rosario Dawson, Danny DeVito, LaKeith Stanfield, Tiffany Haddish, Owen Wilson and even Jamie Lee Curtis).  The film is saddled with an over-talky script, a numbingly relentless melodramatic score and a lot of murky visuals.  It is not that a PG-13 movie cannot provide requisite scares; maybe this incarnation should have concentrated more on creating genuine thrills and chills rather than a convoluted and elongated backstory. 

VOD: Planet Dune (dirs: Glenn Campbell and Tammy Klein, 2022)

"Happy crew, happy ship - right?"

This unashamed mockbuster from The Asylum completely eschews the mythos and mysticism of its titular influence and instead simply strands a rescue squad on a planet where they become under siege from giant sandworms in a desert sci-fi rerun of Tremors meets Aliens.  There are some reasonably rendered and quite ambitious VFX and there is a lot of unusually acceptable sound work for this level of film.  The throwback star this time is Sean Young, who has a good time chewing the control room scenery, and Emily Killian in the troubled pilot lead role shows commitment to the task.  Of its type, Planet Dune has a reasonable energy and a generally tolerable cast, but do not raise your expectations beyond that.
 

VOD: Battle For Pandora (dir: Noah Luke, 2023)

"I've seen some stuff, and I've seen even worse stuff, but this..."

This very-cheap and not-very-cheerful sci-fi actioner sees a U.S. Space Force team sent on a rescue mission to one of Saturn's moons (i.e. Pandora) where they get attacked by the water tentacle effect from The Abyss and try to stop the sentient water - hell-bent on infecting the squad - from getting off the planet. For a lot of the film it is effectively a bottle show, as the rescuers get holed up in the spaceship's medical bay and shout at each other, but there are some occasional ambitious and reasonable  CG effects on offer.  There are some interesting and wildly varied interpretations of the art of acting on display, with sounding angry and unwarrantedly hysterical seeming to be the default mode that becomes very wearing to watch. 
 

VOD: No One Will Save You (dir: Brian Duffield, 2023)

(screaming)

In this reasonably interesting sci-fi thriller, a young woman living in an idyllic isolated house in a forest one night finds herself at the mercy of an alien invader... and seemingly ostracised by the community nearby, it becomes an exercise in Invasion Of The Body Snatchers paranoia and ultimately survival as the scale of the threat grows bigger.  The USP here is that there is no dialogue. therefore three main factors become crucial: sound design works very well indeed throughout, the story pieces come together gradually and effectively, and the (almost solo) lead performance by Kaitlyn Dever is strong.  In spite of quite a lot of murky night shooting, the film acts as a technical exercise in giving a different take on the well-established alien abduction/invasion sub-genre and displays good effects work but, central gimmick aside, this is a standard alien/home invasion film that shows commitment but offers little that is new.
 

VOD: Marry My Dead Body (a.k.a. Guan yu wo han gui bian cheng jia ren de na jian shi) (dir: Wei-Hao Cheng, 2023)

"I'll be waiting for you..."

In this Taiwanese supernatural/cop comedy, a homophobic hotshot young cop picks up a red envelope from the pavement when collecting evidence and finds himself supernaturally 'married' to a dead guy's ghost, and together they try to find the spirit's killer.  Presented in the broadest of comedic strokes, with some culturally-dated attitudes akin to 1970s TV sitcoms, the film's strongest aspect is Greg Hsu's relentless energy and obvious leading-man quality in the lead role, balanced nicely by Po-Hung Lin giving a sensitive performance as the ghost.  When it is not trying too hard to be self-consciously wacky, there are many really nicely-played scenes, and although the sudden tonal shifts may prove jarring to some Western viewers, overall Marry My Dead Body is at its heart quite sweet and entertaining. 
 

VOD: Clifford The Big Red Dog (dir: Walt Becker, 2022)

"Step aside - I know sheep!"

The beloved children's book character comes to the big screen, as 12-year-old Emily is left in the care of her unreliable Uncle Casey (played by Jack Whitehall) and inadvertently takes ownership of a cute little red puppy which - in a 'careful what you wish for' scenario - grows very large and high jinks ensue.  Saddled with a weak villain, the rather uninteresting script chugs along listlessly but delivers some effective sight gags, and the film aims for the charm and whimsy of something like Babe but is just too underpowered.  The CG rendering of the titular character is about as convincing as Whitehall's interestingly wayward American accent, but look out for Emily's friend Owen (Izaac Wang) who is quite good fun when he appears.  Overall, Clifford is a very mild film, patience-testing at times, but pleasant enough.
 

VOD: Spy Kids Armageddon (dir: Robert Rodriguez, 2023)

"I never cheat.  I use creative sportsmanship!"

The fifth Spy Kids movie skews even younger than its predecessors in its Bond/Mission: Impossible-for-the-very-young quest.  Here, the spies' all-powerful codebreaker Armageddon Code is stolen by a megalomaniac tech giant who wants to control the world's tech-reliant lives.  At times barely rising above TV Power Rangers level, the film looks cheap and somewhat empty, and even given its target audience, Armageddon is rather over-talky, the action and villain are anaemic, and the very simple messaging - it's good to be good, kids are better than adults at videogames - is mindbogglingly basic. Sadly, even the sense of fun from the earlier franchise entries is missing, making it quite a grind to watch, but it would likely hit the target for its intended audience.
 

VOD: Elemental (dir: Peter Sohn, 2023)

"Sorry, buddy.  Elements don't mix."

With Pixar's Golden Age well and truly over, Elemental takes on immigration and identity with moderate results.  Opening with a Fire couple arriving at New Yo.. - sorry - Element City and facing a tough start, we see their new-born daughter grow up in the space of ten minutes in true Pixar fashion and become a fiery-tempered young woman, whose encounter with a Water guy leads to a Shakespearean-style relationship of opposites.  The film is presented with all the expected vibrancy, detail, inventiveness, colour and attention to detail, and the different elements and their districts are realised wonderfully on-screen.  Thomas Newman's smart multi-cultural-referencing makes the family's immigrant experience relatable to anyone.  With generations and cultural identity at the fore, the film does nothing really wrong and is pleasantly enjoyable enough, it just, um, fails to catch fire.  Maybe the lead voices sound a little too old?
 

FILM: Saw X (dir: Kevin Greutert, 2023)

"That is a lot of pain to inflict on others."

Nearly two decades on, the tenth Saw film sees many of the original band reuniting, and it ranks almost up there with the original trilogy and is certainly much better than any of the subsequent entries.  The idea of presenting a 'lost chapter' from early in the series works extremely well, not least for the fact that it gives Tobin Bell the opportunity to play John Kramer as a living character and in more than just cameo form - indeed, he is on screen most of the time and gives a wonderful controlled character performance, as he wreaks moral vengeance on the team who scam him with an alleged cancer cure.  The personal stakes make this entry more compelling than most (no random insurance agents here), storytelling is focused, tight and particularly smart in the final act (even an apparent big Plot Hole actually plays out very well in the final stages, but one random discovery remains unexplained), Amanda (the great Shawnee Smith) gets a good arc to play, the signature uneasy green/blue grading with pops of red lighting works well, and Charlie Clouser provides an excellent score/soundscape.  The first act may be a little slow yet sets up the story well, but the traps/games this time are pure Grand Guignol and suitably unpleasant, and overall Saw X marks a real return to form for the franchise.  The fan-pleasing end credits scene also wraps up one of the film's dangling character storylines nicely.   
 

FILM: A Haunting In Venice (dir: Kenneth Branagh, 2023)

"Scary stories make life less scary."

Agatha Christie's moderate potboiler novel Hallowe'en Party gets transplanted to 1947 Venice, providing another sharp turn in mood and tone for the third of Kenneth Branagh's Poirot films and an interesting upgrade to the source material.  Here, a hardened and weary retired Poirot (again played with wonderful precision by Branagh), living in Venice, is pressed by his famous crime-writing friend to attend and debunk a séance conducted by the renowned and convincing Mrs Reynolds (the magnificent Michelle Yeoh) at a haunted orphanage, but as a murder takes place and the party is locked in and stormbound, Poirot finds himself positioned to unveil the medium as a fraud and solve the murder.  The mood of the film is very sombre and melancholy, the case itself is relatively simple (clues are obvious) but it is elegantly presented, and the film proves to be a sound technical exercise for director Branagh, full of noir-ish flourishes (Dutch angles, long shadows, very-high angle shots, unsettlingly-foregrounded close-ups).  The film boasts another excellent ensemble cast, notably including Tina Fey as an excellent foil/side-kick to Poirot and Jamie Dornan as the war-haunted doctor.  The film may he high on atmosphere yet low on real thrills, but it is very well-presented on all fronts and interesting to look at.

 

VOD: Marcel the Shell With Shoes On (dir: Dean Fleischer Camp, 2023)

"That's perfect."

In this bizarre but completely charming and loveable film, Marcel is a one-inch tall, one-eyed shell (with shoes on), who lives with his grandmother Connie in a house being used as an AirBnB and becomes the subject of a documentary made by director Dean Fleischer Camp (staying at the house), which goes viral and leads to a road trip to find Marcel's missing 'family'.  Utterly sweet and captivating from the opening moments, presented in the form of an intimate online documentary, the film is inventive, silly, smart, funny, cute and emotionally engaging (be prepared to have your heart broken around one hour in), as we share Marcel's life from everyday practicalities to his new celebrity status and then exploring the big wide world.  The film absolutely rattles along, it is full of little delightful moments, and it also manages to include considerations on the role of the film-maker, the nature of social media, and even old age.   If you buy into the film's uniquely quirky charm you will find this film an absolute delight.
 

VOD: Spider-Man Across The Spider-Verse (dirs: Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers and Justin K. Thompson, 2023)

"I just have a lot going on!"

This follow-up to 2018's much-admired Into the Spider-Verse had a lot to live up to, and it delivers superbly.  Fully embracing the multiverse concept from the very start, the sequel is even bolder than the original in terms of its staggeringly creative visual stylings and epic storytelling on offer that fuses East/West and traditional/cutting-edge animation with ease.  Its relentless energy and sheer speed is almost overwhelming and utterly absorbing.  What this film also does incredibly well is maintain its teenage perspective/sensitivity through Miles and Gwen, even with Miles being slightly older this time round, and the other lead characters are fleshed out satisfactorily.  With the central relationships between Miles and Gwen/his parents at the fore, a purposeful new villain and the useful addition of the multiverse-policing Spider Society, visuals and story are well-matched and offer a wealth of content for the viewer, and the rather abrupt ending of this much-publicised 'part one of two' makes the promise of the (next) concluding movie very welcome indeed. 

 

VOD: The Flash (dir: Andy Muschietti, 2023)

"Sometimes you just have to let go."

Hitting the ground running (sorry) with a mini-Justice League episode, the first big-screen 'solo' outing for The Flash may have underwhelmed at the box office but - damning with faint praise - it is perhaps one of the more interesting and entertaining of the recent DC movies.  Here, Barry Allen uses his powers to undo the death of his mother, inadvertently rewriting history wholesale and teaming up with his dorky alt-dimension-ego, Michael Keaton's Batman and a new Supergirl to thwart Zod's invasion (given little time here) and correct the timelines; to say that the film is stuffed with competing elements is self-evident, but Muschietti just about holds it all together.  Grant Gustin's excellent TV incarnation of the character may be more genial and mainstream, but - controversies aside - Ezra Miller is always a quirky and watchable character actor, and here he plays not only the emotional and comedic beats well but also the two Barrys (often on screen at the same time).  The film sometimes strains a little too hard to be zany, but it delivers the alt-timelines/time travel/multiverse shenanigans effectively.  As for the current oft-criticised quality of CGI in superhero movies, it is simply the ambition of some sequences where the CGI can look somewhat unconvincing, but in general The Flash fares much better than, say, Aquaman or Quantumania, as there is a lot of nice design on display.  This film may feel inconsistent and a little rambling, but it has many fan-pleasing moments, one terrific use of the f-bomb, and it fulfils its purpose to provide easy blockbuster thrills and entertainment.

 

VOD: Love At First Sight (dir: Vanessa Caswill, 2023)

"I'm down for a cheesy rom-com...as long as there's a happy ending..."

Adapted from a novel, this popular Netflix rom-com finds twenty-year-old American Hadley missing her flight to London and consequently crossing paths in the airport and then on the next plane with British Yale student Oliver, and so the 'love at first sight' theory is tested over the next twenty-four hours.  Although she is the slightly chaotic and quirky American and he is the data-driven and slightly uptight Brit, the stereotypes and underplayed in favour of following two pleasant and emotionally-battered young people, played engagingly by Haley Lu Richardson and Ben Hardy.   Separated on arrival in London, the second and third acts are about finding out if fate and serendipity can bring them together (alongside Jamella Jamil playing various roles as Narrator/Muse), with Oliver's story evidently sensibly boosted up from the novel and some good supporting work on show, especially Sally Phillips as Oliver's mother.  Pitched somewhere between the Bridget Jones films and When Harry Met Sally but much younger and more innocently, Love At First Sight is simple, really sweet, and generically on the nose (very middle class, utterly improbable, annoying wispy acoustic cover of an 80s banger), leaving little impression but doing what it does well.
 

VOD: Nimona (dirs: Nick Bruno and Troy Quane, 2023)

"Rhinoceros?"

Based on a graphic novel, Nimona is a shape-shifting teenager within a walled city that fuses courtly myth and future tech, who crosses paths with a disgraced knight who is framed for murdering the Queen and the pair go on the run.  This is a brash, bright and lively concoction , very much in the current SpiderVerse trend of mixing different styles of animation with its punk and traditional stylings and vibes.  The script is quirky, snappy and funny, and the simple streamlined story zips along breathlessly.  Chloe Moretz Grace and Riz Ahmed do great voice-work as the leads, delivering the film's big themes of acceptance and understanding engagingly, all swept along by a gorgeous Christophe Beck score.   Managing to be sweet, funny, anarchic and moving, Nimona is an unexpectedly delightful animated treat.
 

VOD: Women Talking (dir: Sarah Polley, 2023)

REVIEW No. 1,500!

"So when something like this happened there was no language for it. And without language for it, there was a gaping silence. And in that gaping silence was the real horror."

Inspired by real events in the 2000s, where the females in a remote isolated Bolivian religious community were being systematically drugged and sexually abused by the male followers, Sarah Polley's adaptation of Miriam Toews's novel takes place in rural America, as the women face what is happening in their lives and those of their children, and we follow a cross-generational group chosen from three families tasked to make a decision - "Do nothing.  Stay and fight.  Leave." - in a barn over twenty-four hours.    Whilst not without moments of levity, this is a very sombre and solemn examination of not just female empowerment and self-realisation but also of religious belief and personal (female) identity.  The muted visual palette capably reflects the life drained from these women and the stark simplicity of the attitudes and way of life they endure.  The quality of the writing is sublime - frequently, the utterance of single line can be devastating in effect - and this is a true ensemble of extraordinary performances by all of the (female) cast led by Rooney Mara as the pregnant Ona, plus a heartbreakingly sensitive turn by Ben Whishaw as the minute-taking schoolteacher.  Being set in 2010 makes the juxtaposition of attitudes in this seemingly old-fashioned community with the current climate makes for some challenging thoughts on societal roles and attitudes.  The film is extremely measured and theatrical in style, but what is actually being said and considered - together with the individual lives of these characters - is utterly compelling; to create a movie that is so gentle and yet so powerful and impactful is a terrific achievement.

 

VOD: Moonage Daydream (dir: Brett Morgen, 2022)

"All is transient."

This music documentary takes on the creative/performance and beliefs/philosophy aspects of the life of David Bowie, starting with Nietzsche and a kaleidoscope of 20th Century cultural/sci-fi beats set to the Hello Spaceboy remix that instantly sets up the outsider/alien facade cultivated in the media in the 1970s, and then sets out to attempt to discover just who this unique artist was with reasonable results.  Largely chronological, it picks up from Bowie's rapid rise to success in the early 70s - the 1960s and the later years are given little time here) - and it covers key points in his life/career well (London, L.A., Berlin, the 80s commercial resurgence).  Although the content of Bowie's 'philosophy' is rather repetitive, the film does give a fair insight into the eclectic experiences and ideas that fuelled his artistic and personal life.  We are left with a picture of a fragile and often lonely drifter/chameleon who spent years failing personally to resolve the commercial/artistic tension as a creative in the music industry in particular, but who found a degree of control and happiness in his later years, and whilst the director's creative flourishes are occasionally distracting, the film conveys what made Bowie special as a performer to a good extent, with the music and ideas evident in the (choice of often stripped-back) live footage and later more reflective interviews.

 

VOD: Magic Mike's Last Dance (dir: Steven Soderbergh, 2023)

"I don't really do that any more."

The law of diminishing returns is very evident in this bizarre trilogy-capper that finds Mike (Channing Tatum) bartending at a high-class charity function held by a wealthy near-divorcee Max (Salma Hayek Pinault)...and one private dance and rapid-fire montage later, he is charged with transforming a staid rep theatre in London (somehow involved in the divorce settlement) into an exotic male dancer experience, i.e. a one-step-removed half-movie-length advert for the Magic Mike stage show.  The film is essentially a two-hander between the leads, who thankfully have enough easy-going chemistry and knowing experience to deliver the woeful script, there is a dreadful intermittent voice-over by Max's daughter that adds nothing, and there are annoying moments of fly-on-the-wall documentary-style shooting at odd moments.  Ostensibly the film is about re-tooling a period costume drama into a statement on female empowerment (i.e. by adding male strippers), but this is simply a silly film with a quite ridiculously daft final act. 

 

VOD: The Matrix Resurrections (dir: Lana Wachowski, 2021)

"I remember this."

It is difficult for today's generation to imagine the impact the original film had in 1999, catching us almost unawares as the build up to the eagerly-anticipated Star Wars - The Phantom Menace was in full swing!  This unexpected and hugely belated fourth entry in The Matrix series got lost in the pandemic to some extent, but it was also not really needed after the epic wrap-up of the original trilogy story and - as it turned out - not really wanted by cinemagoers.  Here, something is afoot in The Matrix game, whilst in the (seemingly) real world Thomas Anderson (Keanu) is a world-leading but troubled game creator; with Warner Brothers demanding a belated sequel to his property in the film(!), this initially meta-driven tale soon gives way to the Matrix world, and its intricacies demand attention and an in-depth knowledge of the franchise from the start.  Familiar action beats are delivered well but offer nothing to raise the bar.  At the film's core is a consideration about what The Matrix really is and -unexpectedly - becomes a love story, as Neo/the audience grapples through a pick-and-mix remix and alt-staging of scenes and characters from the first three movies.  Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss return and are terrific as expected,  Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Jonathan Groff work well as the 'new' Morpheus and Smith (with another great duke-out scene with the latter), and Neil Patrick Harris is good in the interesting role of Thomas's psychiatrist.  Resurrections is a clear nostalgia-grab that fulfils that role but also carries with it some of the weaker aspects of the second and third films, it is visually beautiful and sporadically interesting, and it frequently disappears up its own backside, and while it is interesting and diverting enough, it really could have done with more of its own individual identity as a late sequel.
 

VOD: The LIttle Mermaid (2023) (dir: Rob Marshall, 2023)

HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG!

"Then I'll use her as a prawn in my little game..."

Clocking in at a third longer than the original classic animated movie, the latest in Disney's back-catalogue plundering gets the (semi-)live action treatment, with disappointing results. The undersea first act is vividly colourful and rendered in extraordinary detail, but it drags, the CG-made-over characters look odd and they never look fully integrated with the environment, and things do not improve much as it moves to dry land and the royal castle.  In terms of the humans, Halle Bailey is acceptably sweet as Ariel if alarmingly young-looking, Jonah Hauer-King is rather - um - wet as the Prince Eric, Melissa McCarthy is good value as the scheming Aunt Ursula, and Javier Bardem is oddly restrained as King Triton but livens up eventually.  The occasional songs are given the full-tilt Frozen approach, but even they underwhelm.  The whole approach here is rather tepid and twee, with the extended running time not really used to any great purpose, making this easily one of the weakest of Disney's live-action-remakes so far.    
 

VOD: Fast X (dir: Louis Leterrier, 2023)

"It's like a cult...with cars..."

The beginning of the end of the Fast saga, Fast X cleverly opens by retro-fitting Part 5's big heist sequence to provide a new villain and give Jason Momoa an excuse for familial revenge as this episode's big bad and then re-establishes the importance of family at the iconic Toretto home, before a set-up mission finds the team separated, put on the world's Most Wanted list and pitted against an unstoppably deranged nemesis.  Fast X delivers exactly what fans will expect at this stage of the enterprise, built around a run of slickly-demented action sequences across the entire planet and relentless one-liners-filled dialogue, but here with real deep dives and call-backs across the whole of the franchise.  Highlights include a gobsmackingly destructive car/bomb chase through Rome, the return of John Cena at his comedy best, and Little Brian simply being adorable.  Particular kudos goes to director Leterrier for stepping in at the very last minute and doing such an effective job of marshalling the mayhem.  It might go down as one of the unusual 2023 blockbusters that unexpectedly did not set the box office on fire, but Fast X is well made, it has a credible threat (Mamoa is gloriously ruthless and unhinged and brings much to the film) and importantly it brings a sense of fun back to the franchise.  Fans cannot complain that it is left on a big cliffhanger (dambuster?) as this was well signposted in the promotion, but this Summer's Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One proved that you can wrap up the first of a two-parter effectively and leave room to carry on.  With vague threats of two films remaining rather than initial reports of this being the first of a two-part finale, perhaps the next film should wrap up the Fast saga before it really wears out its welcome.
 

VOD: You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah (dir: Sammi Cohen, 2023)

"Everybody in this house needs a shrink!"
"You need two."

Being sold on the presence of Adam Sandler, there is a real difference between 'an Adam Sandler movie' (excruciating attempts at comedy, horrible stereotyping/caricatures) and 'a movie with Adam Sandler in it' (where he does genuine character work), and thankfully this is one of the latter, as we have here a teen/coming-of-age movie filtered through the Jewish community and a 12-year-old girl's upcoming bat mitzvah.  With Sandler's real-life daughters playing the on-screen sisters with aplomb, Sandler takes more of a back-seat with a delightfully controlled and understated performance as their father together with the experienced professionalism of Idina Menzel as the mother.  The rest of the junior cast shows a range of young characters and are charming in their roles.  The delightfully snarky script rolls along effortlessly on a wave of relentless energy, nailing both the comedy and drama of navigating typical young-teen rites-of-passage moments including friendship difficulties, the generation gap, peer group, periods and crushes.  The film also manages to feel fresh and contemporary yet being respectful to the community and traditions it represents, making it feel sincere, and all leading to the sweetest feel-good ending for a very enjoyable film.
 

VOD: Knock At The Cabin (dir: M.Night Shyamalan, 2023)

"There's always a choice."

Clearly drawing on Hitchcock and early Stephen King, a couple and their eight-year-old daughter are vacationing in an idyllic isolated forest cabin, when they are visited by a group of four determined strangers, who inform them that they must sacrifice one of their family in order to prevent the Apocalypse.  After a somewhat talky and laboured opening, the stakes are suddenly raised dramatically, but the story and premise is so limited that this is barely a half-hour Twilight Zone episode stretched out to movie length, even with the largely-superfluous family flashbacks that pad it out and attempt to give rather blunt (and unnecessary) depth to the couple's story.  Nevertheless, the performances are good all round, Shyamalan's direction is unshowy, but the story never has the necessary impact it should have.  
 

VOD: Boiling Point (dir: Philip Barantini, 2021)

"Have I ever let you down?"

Shot just before the pandemic, Boiling Point follows the ever-excellent Stephen Graham as a tough put-upon head chef in a busy restaurant on a Friday night before Christmas; as well as Graham, the rest of the cast of very individual characters create a fascinating patchwork of stories across the evening.  The draw here is the single-camera/one-take approach, which gives the film not only its fly-on-the-wall real-time documentary feel but also keeps viewer attention with its constant movement and flow, with both direction and writing keeping the shift of story focus moving along very effectively indeed.  In the midst of the busy action there are some beautifully-created small moments that hit hard, and as the evening wears on the tension between the kitchen, front-of-house and different customers provides genuine interest, leading to an amazing ensemble scene about fifteen minutes from the end and a disturbing conclusion.  With its handful of limited-space locations and talented cast deftly deployed, Boiling Point is one of those cinematic experiments that pays off..