VOD: 1,000 Miles from Christmas (aka A 1000Km De La Navidad) (dir: Alvaro Fernandez Armero, 2021)

"The only thing worse than Christmas is Christmas movies!" 

This Spanish Netflix Christmas rom-com delivers everything you would want from the genre, as a grumpy Christmas-hating auditor readies himself for his annual escape to Cuba but instead is posted to  to check over the finances of a festive nougat factory in a  remote small town that, of course, loves the festive season and is staging a world-record attempt for the biggest Nativity play.  The feather-light film is breezy, sweet, warm-hearted and gently funny, with some laugh-out-loud slapstick moments and a seemingly self-aware energy that references its American counterparts and has fun with its inherent seasonal silliness - even a game of charades is written and delivered with aplomb ("Moby Dick?!") - making 1,000 Miles From Christmas a very pleasantly enjoyable slice of festive entertainment.

VOD: The Forever Purge (dir: Everardo Gout, 2021)

"One must ask: is the dream still alive?"

In this fifth and apparently final franchise entry, the annual Purge has been reinstated and the story picks up the night before the event, examining attitudes not only about the titular murderous night but also immigration and right-wing politics in its very tonally different Southern (and ultimately daylight) setting.  The stripped back reset of the narrative to its basic format is a plus and the actual Purge night takes up the first half-hour and is very effectively delivered... then all bets are off as end of Purge night is disregarded, making The Forever Purge one of the most interesting entries in the series.  The film embraces the insanity of a world without rules as lawlessness escalates, and this film does not hold back on presenting the very human and emotional cost of racism and violence, well directed and delivered by a credible and committed ensemble cast compared to the weaker series entries.
 

VOD: Black Christmas (2019) (dir; Sofia Takal, 2019)

"Are we supposed to NOT study the classics?"

Blumhouse's take on Bob Clark's seminal 1974 festive slasher has a suitably seasonal setting but otherwise turns out to be a very slow, anaemic and lacklustre take on the material.  Unappealing characters and bland dialogue fail to engage in this 2019 attempt that eschews the gleeful violence of the previous two versions, replacing it with a clumsy attempt to address issues of female consent and patriarchy that is handled bluntly and feels misplaced here. The decision to present a neutered and largely bloodless PG-13 cut that made it into cinemas proves pointless, as the whole point of juxtaposing Christmas with mean-spirited stalk-and-slash kills is lost - mild jump-scares are not enough.  There is a reasonably effective twist about an hour in that raises interest for the final act, but this turns into a staggeringly silly half-hour that absolutely beggars belief - and as for the mid-credits scene...
 

VOD: Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings (dir: Destin Daniel Cretton, 2021)

REVIEW No. 1,250!

"When you have the heart of our dragon, you can do some amazing things."

Just as Spiderman: Far From Home concluded the MCU Phase Three as a light-hearted cool-down after Avengers: Endgame, here we see the proper start of Phase Four following the flashback farewell to Scarlett Johannson and the introduction of Florence Pugh in Black Widow...and what a kick-off Shang-Chi proves to be, if not one of the best Marvel movies so far.  With its mystical storytelling and balletic wire-work fighting in its opening scenes, you almost forget you are watching a Marvel movie, and one of the major strengths of this film is its easy fusion of superhero tropes with Asian tradition and cinematic storytelling.   The set pieces and fight sequences are spectacular, but what really sells the movie is its central breakout star Simu Liu (building on the promise shown in Kim's Convenience but here allying his laid-back comedic charm with excellent fighting physicality) equally matched by Awkwafina in the straight person/sidekick role, together with the rock-solid legends that are Tony Leung and Michelle Yeoh.  Like Black Panther did so well for representation of people of colour in the MCU, Shang-Chi similarly addresses Asian visibilty in the MCU but also does so much more in delivering an impressive, creative and hugely entertaining movie that shows real promise for the next Phase of Marvel. 
 

VOD: The Suicide Squad (dir: James Gunn, 2021)

"Are you having a laugh?"

With David Ayer's (allegedly) compromised and lacklustre 2016 Suicide Squad still within memory, James Gunn's 2021 take on the material sees a director whose wacky freewheeling style feels a much better fit deliver a much more entertaining movie.  It is pretty much what you expect from a James Gunn movie, blending the quirkiness and energy of his early low-budget films with his more recent blockbuster sensibilities to good purpose.  From the lack of preamble at the start which throws the viewer directly into the action and the characters right through to the utterly bizarre yet very effectively-realised final act (which thankfully does not involve a swirly-clouds-in the-sky CGI effect), the film's fast pace, gleefully wicked humour and daftness, endearing characters and sharp wanton violence does justice to the material and makes for a very enjoyable slice of action nonsense.
 

VOD: Candyman (2021) (dir: Nia DaCosta, 2021)

"Candyman is how we deal with the fact that these things happened."

Nearly thirty year's on from the original film, this contemporary sequel/updating is well-mounted if a little dreary.  The events of Bernard Rose's superior classic are woven somewhat clumsily into the lore and history of this modern-day story, which makes its point about the gentrification of neglected housing projects effectively but at the expense of a focus on the titular character, and this film sorely misses the charismatic antagonist of Tony Todd, Candyman here being represented as a more supernatural presence in the horror set-pieces which feel shoehorned in.  The main performers are reasonable, and this 2021 release is certainly much better than the two forgettable sequels, but like the attempted reboot of A Nightmare On Elm Street, this feels like a missed opportunity to really engage with its central villain.
 

VOD: Last Christmas (dir: Paul Feig, 2019)

"Are elves always this cynical?"
"Relentlessly, These are dark times."

Last Christmas is a very odd film indeed.  In spite of the promotion, it is not a George Michael jukebox musical - most songs appear as instrumental incidental cues - and it becomes even more evident that the Michael songbook, excellent thought it may be, is simply not a fit to a Christmas movie or this particular storyline.  Juxtaposing Emilia Clarke's grumpy all-year-Christmas-shop assistant with a festive London makes for an uneven and distancing journey, the blunt politicking jars, and the story of her developing relationship with a handsome stranger who helps her to find her Christmas spirit really is not hard to work out at an early stage, although Henry Golding applies industrial levels of charm to make his role work.  It is to everyone's credit that the ending does manage to have warmth and feel-good impact, but overall as a concept this movie is simply too flawed at its (transplanted) heart.
 

VOD: Single All The Way (dir: Michael Mayer, 2021)

"You have FOMO!"
"I do! I'm a FOMOsexual!"

Once Netflix's LGBTQ Christmas rom-com gets past its brazenly camp opening scenes and starts to concentrate on the core characters and their relationships (both romantic and familial), Single All The Way manages to combine the necessary Christmas movie genre schmaltzy elements with genuine emotion and heart very successfully.  Whilst the actual storyline is very (deliberately?) familiar, the film is well-written, effectively performed and there are many good laugh-out-loud and feel-good moments along the way.  Single All the Way brings its gay characters to the centre, giving visibility in the genre, yet still makes this a story for and about everyone in its heartwarming conclusion.
 

VOD: Father Christmas Is Back (dirs: Mick Davis and Philippe Martinez, 2021)

"That's not very Christmassy..."

With a classic set-up of a frightfully twee upper-class family trudging through the three days before Christmas at a large country house, this unfunny comedy is definitely not the Christmas tonic you might be looking for.  Four stereotypically-different warring sisters come together and grind their way through forced dialogue as the film lurches from desperate mugging to crass farce to attempts at heartfelt drama...and then Kelsey Grammer shows up as their long-estranged father.  Indeed, Grammer does manage to retain some dignity with a relatively grounded performance amongst many over-ripe turns.  The film is not witty enough to skewer is very evident target and not funny enough to entertain.  Regarding the title, this film is about the Christmas family and their long-absent father is...back: that is about as inventive as the film reaches.