DVD: Curse Of Chucky (dir: Don Mancini, 2013)

"It's a doll.  What's the worst that can happen, huh?"

It is a shame that Curse Of Chucky is bypassing cinemas, as it feels as if it would play well on a big screen with big sound and an audience.  Custodian of the franchise Don Mancini returns with a back-to-basics cat-and-mouse-in-a-house thriller that (almost entirely) eschews the self-referential comedy/self-parody of Bride... and Seed... to good effect.  Mancini's direction is assured and well-controlled, there are some well-staged gore gags, and the whole enterprise is lifted by an extremely strong performance by Fiona Dourif as the lead (the stunt casting of whom gives an extra frisson to the face-offs with her father-voiced Chucky, but which is also fully justified by what is on-screen).  The final half-hour seems to have more endings than The Return Of The King, but there is a very franchise-pleasing post-credits scene.  For a sixth outing of a minor horror franchise, Curse.. is hardly an essential movie but it is considerably better than could be expected.

DVD: I Spit On Your Grave 2 (dir: Steven R. Monroe, 2013)

"You just need to get that on film with a little more style than what's in here."

Monroe's 2010 revisiting of the notorious genre classic at least had the benefit of a narrative that felt organic and effectively structured.  Here, the balance is sadistically wrong, focusing on the protracted (even in the obviously truncated UK cut) and unrelenting degradation that befalls aspiring model Katie, and considerably less on the revenge element.  Even the set-up of innocent victim is replaced in this sequel by sexually punishing a woman for refusing to take off her clothes at a photoshoot.  The film opens in a well-shot non-touristy New York, and the bleak winter scenario is used effectively by Monroe to show that alienation can happen anywhere, but the sex-trafficking angle makes the film play more like an entry into the Hostel series.  There are some good performances from Yahor Bavaroff and Brit Joe Absolom, and Jemma Dallender is frighteningly committed as Katie, especially in the last half hour, but turning the subject matter into a horror franchise is blatantly reprehensible.

DVD: Silent Night Bloody Night The Homecoming (dir: James Plumb, 2013)

"This?  This is your big surprise?"

...or how to make 78 minutes feel like a very long time indeed.  Packaged as a slick American horror (that it so wants to be), this unofficial remake turns out to be an extremely low-rent Welsh 'movie' that looks like a local amateur dramatics society trying to do a slasher.  Both pacing and delivery are lethargic, which is no helped by some very odd use of camera, poor lighting and unconvincing split-screens and wipes that are best left for home-made holiday presentations.  Even sound and music cannot save the day as both are utilised weakly, and some reasonably realised bloody effects work is not fully successful owing to less-than-tight editing.  Some nods to the genre classics are present, but the final 'Christmas Dinner' scene certainly isn't anywhere near a match for The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.  Cheap and not very cheerful, and decidedly unglamorous and unconvincing, the threat of a sequel at the end is not a promising prospect on this evidence. 

FILM: Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 3D (dirs: Phil Lord and Chris Miller, 2013)

"Where did he get the brown crayon?"

Cloudy...2 certainly delivers on the eye-popping, bright, colourful children's movie front, but it was faced with an uphill struggle to match the joyous daftness of the wonderful original film.  Picking up successfully from the end of the original, a scarily caffeinated whip-fast muddle of story advancement that starts this movie is worrying, but the film soon settles into a very traditional quest/defeat the villain/realise the value of friendship and family tale.  This sequel is basically the Jurassic Park III back-to-the-original-island story (with some very unsubtle lifts from that franchise), and whilst the food puns are groan-inducingly rapid-fire, the narrative lacks the freshness and originality that made the first film so enjoyable.  There is also a rather harsh message for the youngsters - people can lie, use you and stab you in the back - that sours the party a little.  Thankfully, the characters survive intact and provide much of the enjoyment here, but Cloudy...2 is disappointingly nowhere near as lovable or interesting as the first film.

FILM: Turbo 3D (dir: David Soren, 2013)

"Thank you, plucky snail!"

Turbo is a slight but rather sweet children's tale.  There is some lively and ambitious 3D CG animation to enjoy, and the characters are simple but engagingly brought to life.  The race sequences are surprisingly strong, and there is a nice early nod to the Fast & Furious franchise muscle cars.  The snails' 'world' is created thoughtfully, and there is some well-written droll humour - the reactions to one of the snails being snatched by a bird, part of their routine everyday life, are wonderfully accepting.  The story is tight and well-focused, the film has more genuine Pixar-style moments than that studio's own Cars, and it leads to a rousing (if inevitable) finale.  Turbo is not up there with the best children's 3D-CG-animated movies, and the lead character is not particularly nuanced or memorable, but it certainly stands up as an enjoyable children's movie overall.