VOD: Swiss Army Man (dirs: Daniel Scheinert and Daniel Kwan, 2016)

"That's funny.  That's really funny."

You will know quite early on if this is a film for you, and it is certainly a film wherein you simply have to accept what is thrown at you and go along for the ride.  It is essentially a two-hander, in which castaway Hank (Paul Dano) spots Manny's washed-up corpse (Daniel Radcliffe) just as his attempt to hang himself fails, and we then follow their journey back to home and the girl Hank loves.  This is a sad, bittersweet tale that is not afraid to explore darker human spaces (such as loneliness and isolation) but it also profound, charming, creative and funny.  The actors do a terrific job, with Dano creating a very human and fragile figure and Radcliffe conveying with real detail and nuance the increasingly (re-)animated corpse's awakening and journey through life's stages, with a genuine rapport and relationship developed as well as some wonderful physical comedy/slapstick by both.   This quirky oddball story is at once unique and also universal in its themes, and it is a real triumph for The Daniels.

FILM: Annabelle - Creation (dir: David F. Sandberg, 2017)

"A sin is a sin, no matter the context."

Unlike the limp prequel to The Conjuring, Annabelle, this prequel-to-the-prequel at least makes a bit of an effort.  This is a remarkably long film to tell very little actual story (which also does not make a jot of sense), and as a result there are a lot of inessential scare scenes and standard horror set-pieces to fill the running time.  Annabelle - Creation is a useful film with which to play genre conventions bingo - it throws in everything from a dumb-waiter to a well, especially in a story-changing central scene where so many clichés are chucked at the viewer in the hope that it energises the film.  The non-descript group of orphans who end up at a tragic toymaker and his wife's secluded home mostly fail to engage, but just about everything (including the 'creation' revelations) are saved for a relatively lively but still silly final act, and credit is due for the effective and audacious way it ties this film to its predecessor, but overall it is as scary as a jug of custard.  According to the marketing, there is now The Conjuring Universe - on the evidence so far, it is hardly Marvel!

VOD: Annabelle (dir: John R. Leonetti, 2014)

"Crazy people do crazy things, ma'am!"

To say that this spin-off from The Conjuring is a slow-burner does not even begin to cover how dull and tedious most of it is to watch.  There are only so many times you can hear floorboards creak, see doors close themselves and lights flicker, to the extent that you wish our anodyne couple at the centre of it all would just call in some competent tradespeople to fix things rather than the kindly but gullible old priest. Alfree Woodard, as expected, provides a quiet and restrained dignity to her role as the bookstore owner who befriends the couple, but Annabelle Wallis and Ward Horton are simply restrained and make little impact.  After a lively opening, there is some fun to be had ticking off the genre greats - Poltergeist, The Omen, Rosemary's Baby, The Amityville Horror and so on - but there is little else to keep interest as it grinds its way to the join-the-dots-to-the-original ending.

FILM: Overdrive (dir: Antonio Negret, 2017)

"How stupid do you think I am?"

This lightweight heist movie leans more towards the Oceans and The Transporter franchises than Fast & Furious, although the influence of all three is strongly felt, centring on stealing wildly expensive classic cars (which do look magnificent here) rather than muscle cars in the gorgeous-looking South of France.  After a few rounds of actor musical chairs the lead car-thief stepbrothers are played by Scott Eastwood (American, older, steely and brooding) and Freddie Thorp (British, younger, cocky and mouthy), who have a easy charm and wear leather jackets and flutter eyelashes adequately.  There are some decent car stunts, the villains are cartoon-like and give little real sense of threat in a very simple story, and Idiot Plot runs riot in the third act, papered over with a decent chase sequence and three very well-staged stunt gags.  Overdrive is competent and just a notch above direct-to-DVD fare but is rather forgettable.

FILM: The Nut Job 2 - Nutty By Nature (dir: Cal Brunker, 2017)

"This doesn't look good."
"Why don't you just sing a song about it?"

For the most part, The Nut Job 2 is a fairly average mid-range children's animation with a typical 'cute furry animals' habitat in peril' and cast of fairly anonymous creatures.  Occasionally, there are bouts of manic energy that show off some good animation, and flashes of self-awareness through nods to classic WB cartoon shorts tropes and even anime, as well as skewering its own genre, but this a mostly a pedestrian and familiar affair.

FILM: Atomic Blonde 4DX (dir: David Leitch, 2017)

"I didn't come here to collect postcards."

Cool seems to be the operative word for this film, from the wintry end-of-the Cold War Berlin setting and the grey/blue-tinted stylings to the ice-cold spy of the title, a character who is completely owned here by a committed Charlize Theron.  Able support comes from a strong supporting cast, including James McAvoy (great character work here), Toby Jones and John Goodman. There seems to be a real effort made to integrate the grounded bone-crunching action (often in unflinching medium/close up shots) with the story, which falls somewhere between a serious John le Carre political thriller and a full-on action fest.   Atomic Blonde has a killer 80s indie/synthpop hits soundtrack, Leitch's increasingly trademark quirky and interesting use of camera, and overall makes for an entertaining if somewhat unsurprising and disposable thriller.

VOD: Fences (dir: Denzel Washington, 2017)

"The world changin', and you can't even see it."

Fences treads a very fine line between film and theatre, with this very faithful adaptation of his own play by August Wilson and featuring the main recent Broadway cast, resulting in a phenomenal piece of work.  It is dialogue-rich and rarely moves beyond the confines of the family home, making it not only a challenging and demanding film that will put off popcorn-viewers but also an intense and intimate experience that features many moments of searing emotional honesty.  It is without question a phenomenal acting tour de force by Denzel Washington and Viola Davis, and Jovan Adepo also impresses as their teenage son.  The pace of dialogue is rewardingly exhausting, Washington's direction is unfussy and enables full focus on character.  Fences is a significant and admirable achievement.

VOD: Handsome Devil (dir: John Butler, 2017)

"Now you know another chord!"

This little Irish indie is utterly charming.  It covers a lot of familiar coming-of-age tropes yet feels fresh, with great direction, sharp writing, bags of energy and winning performances from its young leads (Fionn O'Shea as the bullied misfit Ned, and Nicholas Galitzine as the troubled rugby star) as the mismatched roommates at boarding school.  The stereotyped teachers jar slightly but pay off eventually, saved by a typically nuanced performance from Andrew Scott as the inevitably-inspirational new English teacher.  The soundtrack is a wonderful mix of classic hits and a sublime score by John McPhillips, and even though the ending is utterly predictable, it is filmed and conveyed with such joyous punch-in-the-air feelgoodness that it leaves you with a real smile on your face.

FILM: Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets 4DX 3D (dir: Luc Besson, 2017)

"Sit back, relax and enjoy the show."

Luc Besson's dream project is an eye-wateringly expensive grand space opera that certainly delivers on scale and spectacle but the content has little depth, and therefore it succeeds as a hyper-kinetic and eyeball-searing romp with its comic-book origins clear in its stylings and characters.  At over two hours it is overlong for the story it tells, but the huge visuals and action set-pieces work well.  Dane DeHaan and Carla Delevingne work hard but lack the essential chemistry needed for the romantic sparring, hampered by dialogue that at times does not deliver which also afflicts the film as a whole (especially in the control room scenes).  The influential comic series means that a lot of the film's design and story bears references to  the Star Wars and Avatar universes, although the wildly creative ideas on display here are never less than interesting.  Its box office underperformance may be partly due to the less-than-marketable casting and its uncompromising genre approach, but viewed on its own terms Valerian makes for an acceptable sci-fi actioner.

FILM: The Emoji Movie (dir: Tony Leondis, 2017)

"I am going to be sooo 'meh'!"

Whilst hardly praiseworthy, The Emoji Movie does not quite deserve the total kicking that it has received, as it is not much worse than a lot of the mediocre animations of recent years. It is strictly formulaic, right through to the big dance number at the end, and if you want to see a troop of anti-virus bots boogieing down in synch to Disco Inferno, this is the film for you. It is heavily reliant on Inside Out (with a dash of Tron thrown in) but lacking the heart and wit, and it would clearly like to be The Lego Movie in the humour stakes but falls far short, with many wince-inducing puns that are very heavily signalled.  In fairness, the voice cast does its best with often weak dialogue (James Corden and Anna Faris in particular give it their all), and there is some nice design work (such as the Blade Runner-esque city of light that is The Cloud), but overall it lacks internal logic, and thematically it is very unfocused and confused, but then this movie is targeting the very young who are only really going to be interested in the pretty colours.